A guest blog by Dave Roberts
Bloody hell mate, I’m getting pressurized by some weird French woman to give her money to pay for some kids while you shave your legs. That makes complete and utter sense, NOT!
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About as much sense as paying a taxi driver double fare. I am reminded of this connection after I saw you are currently in Manila. About 10 years ago you and I were in Manila on the Rainbow Warrior. We had gone ashore and after an exhausting few hours drinking herbal tea and discussing art and literature decided to return to the ship. Taking a taxi we arrived at the gangway and asked the driver how much was the fare.
He replied “20 dollar, but for you I make a special offer of 40 dollar.”
It must have been the calming effects of all that tea as both you and I burst out laughing and then paid the man – probably even with a tip. The absurdity of the situation and the effrontery of the driver – all done with a smile – still makes me chuckle to this day.
So, forgive me if I link this story to paying to have you shave your legs but it is an absurd and audacious request – and you’re probably smiling too.
And this begs the question; how much faster will you go by having legs smoother than a baby’s bottom? The concept of not covering a supersonic jet in wool I understand, it wouldn’t go very fast. The aerodynamics would be all wrong. But what will you get? 0.5 kph? And it’ll probably itch like hell when it starts to grow back – then I can smile.
Oh well I suppose those Syrian kids benefit – good work Gionny (I say in an unguarded moment of empathy).
…and here comes Velominati Rule #33
Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times. If, for some reason, your legs are to be left hairy, make sure you can dish out plenty of hurt to shaved riders, or be considered a hippie douche on your way to a Critical Mass. Whether you use a straight razor or a Bowie knife, use Baxter to keep them smooth.